she asked me, "what happened in October 2011 that prompted you to begin this?"

It's things that take us back to the beginning that make us realize where we were. Where we once embellished a specific moment in time..it makes us think.
The start of it all, the push for new. For change. Recline in words spoken and told. Read through bitter inspiration of a past and present world so dramatically written about the audience can't even comprehend its original purpose.
For I for he. Me and them. the experience was worth the world. Strapped into the seat of a twisted turning terrifying roller coaster of a ride. I do not regret I continue to ride.
The beginning of it all was never the beginning, just another present moment we choose and are lucy enough to call the start. Never relinquish and try to wish. Hope can be heavier than the future and lighter than a dream.
Hopefully now.

**repost** because I needed to read it many times again

open your hand -- then close your hand

love me as if you were to experience the most amount of pain.
at your weakest of moments, love.
when the end has come will you love me like that.
the best of your person in terrible suffer
love me as you are feeling it then.
those are the emotions that are true.

then we will be able to understand,
and be happy for eternity.

this will not hold meaning without knowing the date and time this was written

..that one time when reality was more than the truth.
You blow out the candles and a ghost appears

"I'm like a foreign film..you need subtitles to understand me. But I'm also like a foreign film in that there's more to me than the subtitles."
-TJ

these chapters don't have titles.

We all have a story that we don't know how to write, or when and how it will end. All we can do is create one page at a time with the understanding that there is more to come that builds on the past. It's these future pages these present words are molding into poetic lines. Some chapters are harder to read, or are spent in long character development. But all in their right way moving forward to a discovered end. The closing of this book will not be by our own hands and we will smile by the grace of God.

life can only be lived forward but can only be understood backwards.