#31

todays lesson, commitment.

your word means nothing when you don't show up. race day comes and you are no where to be found. a goal is set, training in place, you will reach that finish line if you remain committed. only you possess the power to carry on and take that first step. once you feel that magical accomplish, you become unstoppable and will never be beat. for no one else other then yourself, hold on and cherish that commitment. be committed to the finish...the journey will surprise you as you are filled with joy.

did you forget to tell yourself today that life is good.
?

19 hours

once again, put those feelers out. can you be surprised at the results when you never came down from the top of the list?

pouring water in a well while drinking from the bucket you've raised. gaining joy as it rest on your lips, ever so softly, feeling the cool go down. can't decide if you're destroying or enhancing such experiences, or completely acting a fool. all you know is at the end of the day you smile

most astute.

nervously leaving the nest,
cushioned by leaves, falling on your chest.
fixer, the baker, stirrer, and mixer..
lime and crutch
mental map made thicker.
guidance to build with no x marking the spot,
nor directions eight times printed out cooked in the same pot.
solid as stone, soft as a peach,
ripen yourself in order to taste glory, and expand your reach.
no fools gold to be panned for fame,
stepping stones accurately gained.
to each is own, showered and shared,
an oasis to the heat, standing strong, tall and paired.
my path will be true, honest and fair,

achievement is in the air.

a skate

at what point does confidence surpass skill?

can you believe in yourself enough to actually use it when you should?

if a painter made famous off a unaware woman's extra large ugly features...he can not share with the world

mirrors... what a sort of curse
to be able to look back at yourself,
actually feel your emotion as you wear it on your face.
you can't hide it from yourself,
can you fake it? what would give you reason to do so?
it's not fake, it's there
the feeling i get,
but consistency is what holds the knot in the rope tight.
i for one, am no shaman.
can far separate spirits connect?
even with the dance an music of the wild, nature cannot be unnatural
nor performed.
as a lottery ball bounce round its cage.
today i am happy,
and that is more then enough to take me into tomorrow with a smile on my face.

"you might not get school, but you get life."

energy high!

another day...
it's going to be an insanely long one.
wont have another one this week near as long as today..
just want it to be over already....ughh
can't see the light at the end.
as soon as it is over, if it does ever end, i'll be right back at it in the morning...
soo over this shit.


it's twenty-four hours full just like them all,
time doesn't move faster or slower depending on the substance of the day.
it's can always be your last..enjoy the shit out of it!!

one nights randomness..

I sit easy but not in the most comfortable way. It hits like a storm in the middle of a field of daises. Twenty-four stand still as they lay on a wavy ocean but yet empty in the same way as sand leaving the soul.

____________

Its funny how I look into her eyes as she stares at someone else.

I think of the rest of the evening, me three, you, two.

Three or four but never any more.

Deal again,

If I’m alone in the end,

It’s possible cause its just about certain.

______________

Past days have come up once again in the midst of this evening’s moon.

Lips of faith preaching down only one individualistic character into booming heights.

When it comes no shield is needed, nor no swords-n-knives.

This session is now over…

“Moved on”, really happened.

fire og.

Young, scared in a shattered world burn by flame; you slowly stride into one town from the next. Tail between your legs, no backbone or strength to survive but continues to trot on. Before mistaken and thrown, now simply sliding among toads and lilies. The pond awaits you. For all glory will be had.

“from than on this lustful life being lived will not truly comprehend the size or shape in which the river flows as Sheppard’s await us. Arise these children in the night to reflect the dawn. Till morning is spring and the birds’ duth sing an endless tune of joy and feather some compassion.”

light post.

A dark corner in a dark part of town one lonely street lamp almost saddened in its posture lights up the entire little town. People go to meet underneath it. For a coffee, a smoke, a drug deal, a kiss. Embrace this light, look at it with joy because within its’ all quietness and shyness is beauty and power. Has a skill like a friendly hand waiting to be shaken. This lamp we will call Stewart. It will be there for you on a dark night but not enough to play with the sun, if that was the case it would be way to much involvement and he knows that. So he keeps to himself and others tend to him with a drive you don’t often see. He will always be there for you on a dark night waiting to help set you free.

flyin in the clouds.

Are you rollin?

I want what you're on!

I need good energy to promote my energy.

I stand with my feet together.

as the rain pours, i stand dry.

it's a mighty breeze 

for this honey bee,

her pollen safe an sound.

held by the sap

which was never a trap, 

as she climbs her way to the ground.

a flower stem so high

the pedals in the sky, 

a many to choose as you fly around.

no need to worry

or a sense of hurry, 

as today, I am found. 

today.

from this view the cars look like shimmers of the ocean. I'm not in heaven nor even close, but feel more free an at peace if I was so.

What defines a good person? Their actions would be both a logical and a good answer. But which of their actions serve as the criteria for judgement? What aspects are acceptable to hold has honorable and role model like? My hero may have some problems, addictions and habits. But for other reasons,
my hero.

was on hiatus from life, but never stopped breathing.
never stepped out, nor removed completely,
was never actually there in its entirety.
a secretaries job to cover the tracks.
resting easy was always the right choice.

mc-

you make me feel so beautiful and comfortable.

I've stepped in gum to many times to spit it out.

you have to have an understanding of those you pursue.

it just is.

experience and live the journey.
take a chance,
you'll never know how it could go,
the single possibility of being potentially good,
should keep you smiling.

one of those rings that wraps your entire finger.

always pleasantly surprised when you don't expect anything

an oreo filling when you hate cookies.

experience is knowledge.

a detour allows you to build your own map.
making mistakes show you the best way.

as a preacher warms the hearts of his congregation, tends to prayers and gives advice.
he is alone. for he can not follow is own words,
the pressure breaks him, makes him weak.
his confidence is derived
vicariously through others.

a genie can grant you any wish you please...
yet he is still stuck in the bottle.

sensual..

feels good

excitement is where comfortability and fear hang out

everyday

be good, stay calm, rest softly.
happiness is easy.

an equal playing field?

to be afraid of karma as to live in fear of god..
  at what point are we all pointing fingers?

what's at the source of it?
the intention behind the magicians magic.
 is it just a trick? or does he purposely misguide you
with an illusion.
you always enjoy the show though..
independently the little things surprise you,
but it is in the entirety of the performance where you are amazed.

sometimes you jus need to wait it out..
good things find you.

morning coffee-

it's not because you'll use it,
but because it trains your brain to think a certain way..
questions, analytically upside down.
hold on to logic and reason,
but let reality slip just a bit.

doors open. always. best be when your not lookin

life is good. 

have you said it today?

pleasure will find you in various ways.
 be ready

do not disregard experience.

i dont know, maybe i got it all wrong.

there are a few that will never be gone. no matter where they are or where you are
in life.

and they love me so.

is it all so insignificant?

23years

each time is a new time.
you will be better in the end.
life does go on,
especially when it is good.
grow from those that make you sad.

cause thats when you can learn to be happy.

theres a lot you want to say..
theres even more you wish they would just understand.
maybe I don't bring it up cause I already know the answers,
and they are to sad to hear.
the only thing to be said is...

 never expect anything from anyone, they will only let you down.


find that fine line between an equal part of caring and love,
an for your own sake,
don't play in the puddles..they usually turn into pools.

twoday.

define for me responsibility..
I guess a context would be appropriate.. .
 to whom is responsibility. ?      who's may it actually be?
not so much of a social,
well hardly at all..that aspect of the situation holds no water..
nor an aggressive one.. but it feels this way,
feels powerful and strong.
its far from political...could border ethical. .
 personal and painful.
what is mine?. my responsibilities..
an to whom,
are mine?
the question is not whether I understand or not
but at what point does one take over the other? ..
when does yours for you and yours for others and to you and for you done by others...become more or less important.. ?
my motives,
not questioned..nor values misunderstood.

 maybe they just can't be compared.
an equal balance you will not find. but I ,
they friendly an true, to you.
are just as important.
the trick is to not let loose the rope
and stay out of the hole.

there are two types of long days...we each had one.

what's on your mind..?

'





'
You are the author.

tonight, we live as a king

ever wonder what they are thinking about you?
in a very elementary style of judgment.
there is no hate
nor dissatisfaction.
perhaps an equalizer.
are you living up to your own image?

there's many levels of making a difference.
you could be the salesmen,
pitching your lines and strong energy.
or the smooth one in the back overseeing
making sure everyone is safe.
the controller in charge,
calling the shots.
a face everyone recognizes,
and calls their friend.
possibly even the one who
started it all.
either way,
you carry it on.
your optimism spreads,
as a wildfire in the fall.
if you believe,
you are the one everyone will call.
tonight is yours,
your gonna have a ball.

i am the leader.

just a class assignment.

sometimes you have to think about death to understand what truly means the most to you.
your values and what you want to leave behind when your gone.
who means most to you and how much you adore and love them.
not all things are bad or negative in this life we are given.
death and change are the only certain things,
embrace them both and grow as an individual
so those around you can experience your greatness.

do your self a favor and don't make your bed before your about to sleep in it.
it just prolongs the sleep.
you might fall into a distant place
with no clue of how you got there.

poker...i don't ever know her.

ever slip an fall down a flight of stairs,
an happy with the way you fell?..

more then a single thought or moment.

Just wanted to say hello.
Figured this might be the best way to do so.
Gosh I hope you are well.
Thats all I ever wanted,
for that smile to run wild.
It looks so beautiful upon your face.

i miss when you press for answers to questions unasked but
i already know.
you slowly slightly get it out of me.
let me be me,
and comfortably so.
you play the part i am so used to tiredly being,
and we share.
it was so nice,
having you there.
maybe i'm not used to me being away.
you still make me laugh,
that will never go away.

a stem from a seed.

I feel good today. This world has great potential to be great. I am going to help this infulence. A substance all will want to have. Purpose and love,
makes me happy.

together, we had some amazing times

doors open and close, some even lock.
its what you do when you lose the keys that really matters.

change comes as the breeze flows,
always remain leaf like and on your toes,

do not be afraid of it.

assumptions are a mind fuck.
you can fuck me,
and i can fuck you.
but my assumptions will fuck me,
and yours will fuck you.

when did it turn sunday?
tears in my eyes as if they have been open for 43 hours straight.
my shirt is wrinkled.
head spins..
i woke up on the floor of a hotel.
damn that was
a good weekend!

what's a fair trade for winning?

walkin down the street.

the image of eating an apple is almost if not just as important as the nutrition i'm getting.

I'm a king.

Addicted to freedom.
letting lose, going hard!
Scared, sorta,
from responsibility.
Rebellious,
living like a king!

-it's what we've always been taught.
Through out history and more then ever
today,
or interest, search
and conquest for royalty..
and the habits included.

I'm guilty.
I'm not saying you are,
or we all are.
But we the people, 
are the creators.

Putting things,
and people aside that mean most to you.
Those that love you
and care.
being almost forgotten about,
treated like the,
help.

simplicity.

perfection is finding the last stepping stone so you no longer have to step on dirt.

as long as we are not running away,
we can leave any time.

its the support that gets me through it.

you told me so.

i'm in a funky place right now.
but i think i just took the first step to figuring it all out.
we all got issues and thats what makes me
normal.?
i feel a little bit better now,
i can rest easy tonight.
as he wrote it on the paper.

pinklady.

she pulls an apple out of her bag.
a center piece for everyones above average ideals.
i watch her,
wanting not to listen
but i still play my part. contribute
when its a proper cause,
to who's fulfilled desires?
each time i want to take a bite.
i'm glad it only served as energy.

you inspire me.

you show me something that I thought I had.
but you are much better at it then me.
I deny the fact,
and you vomit it out.
I assume my shit doesn't stink
and is actually good for you.
but in reality..
I need to be more like you,
FOR ME.

u·nique/yo͞oˈnēk/

Adjective:

Being the only one of its kind; unlike anything else

in·di·vid·u·al/ˌindəˈvijo͞oəl/

Adjective:	Single; separate:
Noun:	A single human being as distinct from a group, class, or family

-- be the change you want to see in the world..or you'll never see the world change. --

courage.

I came to the match with my own bag of marbles..
they wouldn't let me play.
so I started a new game.

determinism.

you never know what you'll find until you look under every stone.

you are holding onto the rain cloud as if it were a kite.

i have no experience in the matter so my word is not as true as yours may be.
but i do have experience with hope..and today.
something that can take us far,
for better
higher,
happiness
and full of love.
i know this well, better then most.
how it can guide you, take you
keep you safe as you fall circle down the path.
how it possess the power to control you.
let it in, open your heart and mind to this forever lasting hope.
in due time you will be able to use it for good,
help push over those negative emotions, questions, fears and
possibly find answer. for you will be happy,
if you only let yourself be so.

a gift for you.

we wish for gifts, things that can be bought.
we can not wish for things which can only be obtained.
they must be conquered by the powers of our mind and the actions of our life.

in due time anything is possible as long as you are always striving for what you wish.

lib.

the surface is calm an mellow..
underneath it stirs and is angrily upset,
full of confusion, worry and stress.
still remains a tight school of fish.

I am not judging.

conformity. socialism. pian. fear.
retreat.
there's no option, nor was there ever a choice to be apart of any of it.
it's
just one thing that happened.
glue-nice an inviting at first, a calm, mellow, enjoyable time.
then your stuck,
unable to take back decisions previously made.
so you keep going.
more glitter, more glamour.
we trip over our own two feet, as your hair is being held back.
some fun time,
the pictures tell the tale.
we all do it.
not quite sure who's laughing or at what point it is no longer funny.
maybe laughter is the only way to cope.
I am no lier.
and we don't need a mirror.
tomorrow you'll say sorry.
and tonight i'll sleep soundly.
This is quite normal, for you,
for me,
for all of us.

shame on who?..

This shit is nuts.

-A master with all his mighty and kingness subjects himself to the same foolish antics he preaches against. His word holy and true, for it be a mistake not to take when given to you. Obsession in all the wrong forms swooped by effortlessly so early on, only a fool could play you for an honest abe. "control! I must have over my people!" his emotions run wild. "for they are my dearest friends a switches power may condemn, my kingdom loves me so." Truth be told, truth be showed, truth be assumed. Yours shines threw. beyond the hold a grasp so tight, this will remain no more longer then sooner shall the flame grow dull, for a matches' spark was ever so full. In time, give it time, he will step down.

worry bumps.

overcoming a sensation, beating all odds, fighting against your will, it spreads as a wild fire on the windiest of days.. it can not beat me, i will overcome it and fight back.

i wont let it control me.
this pain is deep, clouds my mind,
i will rise above it.

never assume.

never assume, you'll only be consumed.
in the thrills of excitement and lust.
bust this epiphany like a glass elevator threw a glass roof.
 you'll be scared as if tomorrow doesn't possess chance to exist.
its never for you, only for me.

never knew how it was..was almost blind to the pictures in front of my face. I chose to watch and participate rather then read between the lines. maybe it's me being naive. 
or ignorant..
or selfish? 


but how so if i put it in clear ink on paper?


i built a sandcastle for you to play in, its low tide now, possibly one day it will creep up and melt the walls. 

life.

drowning because you don't want to learn how to swim...


they stopped selling life-jackets too. 


it's a shame, you have so much to offer this world. 
you are loved by all.

you can't be everywhere at once, nor with everyone at once. a hope to please, or a wish to fulfill..
   is an uneasy sense of happiness. they may expect 
and desire you, 
but those who remain true possess a gift of understanding
 that you may never be able to rap your head around completely, 
they fall for you.. 
the ones who keep you alive. 


however it is not the case, only a surface level colored picture. 


you need them more then they need you. 

comparing yourself to others, only gives you the criteria to fail and do wrong. you are your biggest critic and judge..let go of societal bullshit and images and let your spirit shine through. a follower will always have dust in his face as he trails behind missing the beauties of whats ahead.

fruit.

for personal sake, we'll call it a peach. Now do not humor yourself and think a sexual tone, but understand that I wanted this peach. I spent some easy moments thinking how I don't really have any peaches and it might be nice to have one that I could enjoy. well I might have found a peach..it even feels like it might be ripe. -Think optimistically, things happen. 

there's no such thing as a bitter end, if when you leave this world there are lots of people that love you and were blessed to experience your love. pain, fear, sadness can not over come nor beat that.

balance

with out sadness there can be no happiness..

i get a plate of cake an two forks, want nothing more then to share with you...yet you sit and watch me eat it. i even leave a piece for you. you walk away with your head down wanting nothing more then to have some cake.

maybe your allergic and i didn't know.

truest.

a state of mind will control you forever. grasps onto you and will never let go. it is possible however to alter that state of mind, make changes to where that state of mind always makes you smile.
never doubt yourself or what you are capable of accomplishing. throw away all images, terms, and societal  functions..none of that shit matters, it only corrupts your possibilities and hinders you from finding that truth and self righteousness. let go, and be free. don't ever let anyone tell you other wise.

-experience is intimidating..and your intimidating. 

a volcano moon-

lets run through the tides one more time, 
our foot prints wont hold our memories. 

Ritz-Carlton Paper

One out of many as I sit alone.

So many coming, or so many going.

The room is circular but hardly a circle.

 A hall way or a portal to happiness or freedom to get away or come.

It makes the circular room special and not a circle at all.

Orange hat, blue hat. Lucky or not.

 I’m not the lucky one sitting in a square in a circular room.

 Or simply is everyone lucky, they go or come.

 Happy or sad would be asking the same question.

This man is special, different than everyone else.

Blue again, another walks by dressed in blue.

So many lines, so many different ways.

Very different shades of black and white are constantly being crushed as different shapes and sizes of similar feet walk.

What makes them different?

The middle of the room they all sit. Sit and talk or search or read.

 Just unplugged from everyone else.

Are they special or gifted? I think not,

just less aware of everything natural in life.

Everything they have been given a chance to see,

 touch, and mainly feel!

Feel the words, the sounds, the colors and shapes.

 Does anyone notice? Does anyone share with me, share how I feel?

 Possibly.

The bubble gum pops, brown eyes side to side.

 Young colorful bag with old lady, cool shoes for old women.

 Does anyone else see the lucky or unlucky people in the circular room like I do?

 One dog ugly, tons of people. different.

 Just about everyone with some thought-clueless to the rest of the world.

 The light comes through, not the same on every side.

Strange for a circular room.

Black dots everywhere, part of the design?

Or simply flaws?

Wont ever know…

It slides down my throat, not as smoothly as hoped, moistens the cracked lips.

 It was quick, thick pink cold all gone, just a cone now, but almost not there at all.

 Does she look at me time and time again?

She’s old, just fixed her home, but a bit poor.

 Fifty dollars or twenty dollars makes a big difference in her eyes:

she’s much older.

 I finally look, it’s not at me, just simply at others.

 Forty-five minutes to go, time passes but at a turtles pace.

To bad this old man isn’t the hare…he’d be losing the race,

but instead he is better off then everyone else,

 his old age,

comes less cares.

 His cold ice cream feels perfect going down, not a worry in his face, just wrinkles.

She looks lost or confused, but she can’t be.

 Only two ways out of the circular room, the hall or one of the six doors to everyone’s ticket away or home,

for me home.

My door is a good one, it’s in the middle of two others

but close to the end.

Number two,

 my ticket home.

 On my plane yet?

 Only a fool would think so, soon though I hope.

 I look, she looks away,

maybe she’s trying to read what I write, maybe not.

“Sitting on the dock of the bay.” a line from a good song.

 I can relate.

He sits and watches the tide, I watch the people.

Just sit and waiting is that all life is?

 No!

Can’t be.

 I’m not waiting just given a chance to observe.

 Last page, last ten minutes till boarding, I’m ready to fly!

 I gather my things, pencil dulls, my turn is up,

 I am now special.