talking is my therapy.

it's only a distraction.

we think that those that talk to themselves as weird, strange, crazy, or special.
but don't you think to yourself?
have thoughts, ponder ideas, question certain things.....do you write or paint and speak your art as you create it?
Can you explain the difference?

it's a miracle. well of course it is. i wouldn't have expected anything else.

i hope you [what] are happy and well

the [what] that i miss is broad, various in forms but all just as true and real. what i miss is not the exact same as what i long for. very similar though. when ever that time is it will be the right time and what i miss will become what i remember and cherish. sadness is replaced with happiness and we smile when we see lilies.

the only two certain things in life:

CHANGE

   and

DEATH



accept, embrace, and do not fear.

matching your actions to your intentions is not always as easy as it seems. a constant process to be the best i can be

your mind is powerful enough to overcome it.

we are never bigger than our actions. we can never be more than what we do. if we hold ourselves to such a high value and standard, then we must perform to such every moment of every day. for the times in between greatness do not make you great..unless you are taking steps forward. model the way every day, and you will never fail.

it's okay.

we all have our issues.

none of us are perfect. 

very far from it in fact.

we excel in some areas, 

and fail in others. 

there is no way around it. 

my fault might be a small one,

but it affects you in such a deep way.

i may not ever understand.

i hope i will be able to fix it.

an i hope you know

you made me realize 

more than anyone else 

ever has.

i'm sorry i couldn't have

been better with it,

understood it more 

when i was with you.

i am trying to

learn.

the powers of vulnerability....did you realize?


http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html?source=email#.UMAjMSiHWOZ.email

take a cup and fill it half way with water. look at it until you realize it is half full,
then start your day.

she say, "paint me a picture of optimism if you are so clever."

I smile back at her

15 hours in, and counting..

taking a moment to realize you do not know what you know. removing yourself as a follower of the natural flow and way things ought to be.. will allow you to reflect in a way you previously thought impossible. you will be pleasantly surprised with your progression for it can only be positive when you believe in yourself.

you cannot flip a one sided coin.

wearing the shoe on the opposite foot is not the same as wearing my shoe.

the hours of the day seem motionless.

my bones shiver an shake..
down to the core i am cold..

i must press on,
when all i want is sleep.

ahhhh

misunderstanding.....it doesn't have to be such a motherfucker.
"...accept the things I can not change..."

and move on.

it is titled: energy

what i want from you has nothing to do with me.
i can not benefit directly nor on any tangible level as you can,
but i still want it from you.
you to be motivated each day for you.
inspired and happy
because your individual life is good.
to be goal accomplishing and future bound
carried by your visions and aspirations
consciously and actively seeking your dreams.
this reality not harsh no complicated,
just lost among the few fallen leaves.
it is out there,
for you.

who do you want to be?

everybody has problems.
your biggest problem is you think you're the only one.
give yourself a brake and remove that doubt.
"normal" is having difficulties,
what raises you above is accepting and overcoming them.

Transforming leadership

-can result in a relationship of mutual stimulation and elevation that converts followers into leaders and may convert leaders into moral agents...

the information man.

courtesy of a friend-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIr4pL9P0SA

today is an exciting day.
i did not dream of making it to the top,
i already accomplished it and am making my way there.

you make me drink, when i don't want to drink..
but man i really wish i had some whiskey.

you can sleep when you are dead..
it's only a frame of mind.

do not cut yourself short though for you will die if your body does not get rest.
play friendly with the line and push yourself

i bought myself a cake today..
i can't eat it though.

floating on the surface when you think you are diving deep.
the fish nip at your toes
and the sun on your back.

bare belly-button

it's that calm collective look,
a questioning sense of energy you poses.
 was reclining position that gave you the objective seat,
and the stilts is where i walked.
the fire burned bright and heat poured out,
all over our faces, but none strolled away.
together we all stand.
and boy did we laugh.

i just did it for me.

inspiration hidden amongst your own actions..

who knew they could hold so much power

you are my sister.

you always had and continue to have my best interest in mind.
i could not fight with you
therefore you always won...and were right.
but i love you dearly.

a sacrifice of yourself to save your men.. in who's mind is it a good choice?

our actions hold more weight then we think..
if you brush it off with a shrug...someone might take it to heart.
do your best to remember that.

i am just learning

its funny how things work out..
a bird just born, spreading its wings
leaps from the nest to fall towards the earth.
naturally it falls, spins spiraling down gravity taking control.
yet at the last moment it falls on a soft bed of leaves
bouncing and begins to take flight as though it never fell to begin with.

tonight i saw a man
he held pepper in his hand.
gripped the cap off, it was tight
poored that shit out layered n right.
blanketed the food,
he seemed to be in an okay mood.
he was alone and so was i,
but i never looked him in the eye.
he was friendly, and used his name,
for a stranger we became.
this man was older, nice n wise,
the fuckin pepper was his demise...

my brother

your family doesn't need to be blood..
all that matters is that they are they for you when ever it truly counts.
you can not see or talk to them in weeks or months,
but when you call
they show up as if they've never left.

how can you classify excitement?
is it as easy to put a title to it as it is to be excited?
could you tell if it was false true or pure?
...either way it's exciting!

gettin pushed down a slide

Polaroid

this energy peaking through the earth as a new steam from a seed, it begins to wrap aggressively round everything in reach as it climbs to the sky.
taking over all as it shares their life line to this world.
each connected and feels the same pain.
but yet it climbs while everything else stays motionless.
it is not a tree for it will never have a trunk,
this vine takes control.
making it all slowly fade.
a love connection built strong by natures lust,
is now being uprooted and lifted with the vine.
flowers still grow..
from the vine?

recharge

teach me how to be selfish...

stress does not exist, frustration in an obscure form.
i am here for the world. and that's it.
no two sided coin to flip,
no fifty fifty chance to be chosen.
i for me and me for me..

unplugged from the energy that connects us all.
one day it will be clear and i will sail over the rainbow.
  looking for the day to be mine.

optimism as a curse?

make the most.

that which you think and believe to be perfect,
might actually be a storm brewing beneath..
to define perfection is to title 'normal' and paint a picture to what we all  may think.
never
ever
take anything for granted,
you never know when it might slip away.

you gotta be there for someone at the right time and in the right way..
because it is that one chance,
that one moment when it all counts and they need you most.
and they will be reassured and find peace within themselves
because of you.
and it becomes worth it for that specific second.

724

hypocriically insane..
logically driven,
reasonable at best.
analytical freak,
courageously loving.
inspired by good.
optimistically full,
tonight i made it home safe.

we are all constantly trying to impress...
but the only ones we continue to let down is ourself

cocachina

purposely full of inconsiderate jokes.
showboating the entire way down the street
as you hypocritically smile.
which one of us are you actually fooling?
better yet, who do you believe you are fooling, taking for a ride?
as much as mine is mine for mine and is not for you. me me me me me me me...
and i forgot your name.
  i will owe you..
  i got you man you know that..
  ..it's all good
not a hopeful sense of cherished selflessness,
from the nights beginning.
you fell asleep with the lights on and they reaped your land.
stole the diamonds, and never looked back.
funny thing is...
nobody knows but me.

frustration is one mother fucker of motivation.

a new experience that has now been relived many times over. as the leaves grow and change their colors each season around, a new set, a new look, a new wonderful experience for those who have not seen its beauty. however..at the same time, this tree has lost and grown its leaves time and time again. but when you rake them up this time around, you will use a bag that does not have holes, a rake twice as big, and you will have the wind behind you sweeping up what you have missed. for it is not the fallen leaves that keeps you coming back.

can you logically judge someone to the point where simple logic and the lack thereof this person possesses could allow you to comfortably judge them care and karma free? can it ever reach a morally acceptable level?

#31

todays lesson, commitment.

your word means nothing when you don't show up. race day comes and you are no where to be found. a goal is set, training in place, you will reach that finish line if you remain committed. only you possess the power to carry on and take that first step. once you feel that magical accomplish, you become unstoppable and will never be beat. for no one else other then yourself, hold on and cherish that commitment. be committed to the finish...the journey will surprise you as you are filled with joy.

did you forget to tell yourself today that life is good.
?

19 hours

once again, put those feelers out. can you be surprised at the results when you never came down from the top of the list?

pouring water in a well while drinking from the bucket you've raised. gaining joy as it rest on your lips, ever so softly, feeling the cool go down. can't decide if you're destroying or enhancing such experiences, or completely acting a fool. all you know is at the end of the day you smile

most astute.

nervously leaving the nest,
cushioned by leaves, falling on your chest.
fixer, the baker, stirrer, and mixer..
lime and crutch
mental map made thicker.
guidance to build with no x marking the spot,
nor directions eight times printed out cooked in the same pot.
solid as stone, soft as a peach,
ripen yourself in order to taste glory, and expand your reach.
no fools gold to be panned for fame,
stepping stones accurately gained.
to each is own, showered and shared,
an oasis to the heat, standing strong, tall and paired.
my path will be true, honest and fair,

achievement is in the air.

a skate

at what point does confidence surpass skill?

can you believe in yourself enough to actually use it when you should?

if a painter made famous off a unaware woman's extra large ugly features...he can not share with the world

mirrors... what a sort of curse
to be able to look back at yourself,
actually feel your emotion as you wear it on your face.
you can't hide it from yourself,
can you fake it? what would give you reason to do so?
it's not fake, it's there
the feeling i get,
but consistency is what holds the knot in the rope tight.
i for one, am no shaman.
can far separate spirits connect?
even with the dance an music of the wild, nature cannot be unnatural
nor performed.
as a lottery ball bounce round its cage.
today i am happy,
and that is more then enough to take me into tomorrow with a smile on my face.

"you might not get school, but you get life."

energy high!

another day...
it's going to be an insanely long one.
wont have another one this week near as long as today..
just want it to be over already....ughh
can't see the light at the end.
as soon as it is over, if it does ever end, i'll be right back at it in the morning...
soo over this shit.


it's twenty-four hours full just like them all,
time doesn't move faster or slower depending on the substance of the day.
it's can always be your last..enjoy the shit out of it!!

one nights randomness..

I sit easy but not in the most comfortable way. It hits like a storm in the middle of a field of daises. Twenty-four stand still as they lay on a wavy ocean but yet empty in the same way as sand leaving the soul.

____________

Its funny how I look into her eyes as she stares at someone else.

I think of the rest of the evening, me three, you, two.

Three or four but never any more.

Deal again,

If I’m alone in the end,

It’s possible cause its just about certain.

______________

Past days have come up once again in the midst of this evening’s moon.

Lips of faith preaching down only one individualistic character into booming heights.

When it comes no shield is needed, nor no swords-n-knives.

This session is now over…

“Moved on”, really happened.

fire og.

Young, scared in a shattered world burn by flame; you slowly stride into one town from the next. Tail between your legs, no backbone or strength to survive but continues to trot on. Before mistaken and thrown, now simply sliding among toads and lilies. The pond awaits you. For all glory will be had.

“from than on this lustful life being lived will not truly comprehend the size or shape in which the river flows as Sheppard’s await us. Arise these children in the night to reflect the dawn. Till morning is spring and the birds’ duth sing an endless tune of joy and feather some compassion.”

light post.

A dark corner in a dark part of town one lonely street lamp almost saddened in its posture lights up the entire little town. People go to meet underneath it. For a coffee, a smoke, a drug deal, a kiss. Embrace this light, look at it with joy because within its’ all quietness and shyness is beauty and power. Has a skill like a friendly hand waiting to be shaken. This lamp we will call Stewart. It will be there for you on a dark night but not enough to play with the sun, if that was the case it would be way to much involvement and he knows that. So he keeps to himself and others tend to him with a drive you don’t often see. He will always be there for you on a dark night waiting to help set you free.

flyin in the clouds.

Are you rollin?

I want what you're on!

I need good energy to promote my energy.

I stand with my feet together.

as the rain pours, i stand dry.

it's a mighty breeze 

for this honey bee,

her pollen safe an sound.

held by the sap

which was never a trap, 

as she climbs her way to the ground.

a flower stem so high

the pedals in the sky, 

a many to choose as you fly around.

no need to worry

or a sense of hurry, 

as today, I am found. 

today.

from this view the cars look like shimmers of the ocean. I'm not in heaven nor even close, but feel more free an at peace if I was so.

What defines a good person? Their actions would be both a logical and a good answer. But which of their actions serve as the criteria for judgement? What aspects are acceptable to hold has honorable and role model like? My hero may have some problems, addictions and habits. But for other reasons,
my hero.

was on hiatus from life, but never stopped breathing.
never stepped out, nor removed completely,
was never actually there in its entirety.
a secretaries job to cover the tracks.
resting easy was always the right choice.

mc-

you make me feel so beautiful and comfortable.

I've stepped in gum to many times to spit it out.

you have to have an understanding of those you pursue.

it just is.

experience and live the journey.
take a chance,
you'll never know how it could go,
the single possibility of being potentially good,
should keep you smiling.

one of those rings that wraps your entire finger.

always pleasantly surprised when you don't expect anything

an oreo filling when you hate cookies.

experience is knowledge.

a detour allows you to build your own map.
making mistakes show you the best way.

as a preacher warms the hearts of his congregation, tends to prayers and gives advice.
he is alone. for he can not follow is own words,
the pressure breaks him, makes him weak.
his confidence is derived
vicariously through others.

a genie can grant you any wish you please...
yet he is still stuck in the bottle.

sensual..

feels good

excitement is where comfortability and fear hang out

everyday

be good, stay calm, rest softly.
happiness is easy.

an equal playing field?

to be afraid of karma as to live in fear of god..
  at what point are we all pointing fingers?

what's at the source of it?
the intention behind the magicians magic.
 is it just a trick? or does he purposely misguide you
with an illusion.
you always enjoy the show though..
independently the little things surprise you,
but it is in the entirety of the performance where you are amazed.

sometimes you jus need to wait it out..
good things find you.

morning coffee-

it's not because you'll use it,
but because it trains your brain to think a certain way..
questions, analytically upside down.
hold on to logic and reason,
but let reality slip just a bit.

doors open. always. best be when your not lookin

life is good. 

have you said it today?

pleasure will find you in various ways.
 be ready

do not disregard experience.

i dont know, maybe i got it all wrong.

there are a few that will never be gone. no matter where they are or where you are
in life.

and they love me so.

is it all so insignificant?

23years

each time is a new time.
you will be better in the end.
life does go on,
especially when it is good.
grow from those that make you sad.

cause thats when you can learn to be happy.

theres a lot you want to say..
theres even more you wish they would just understand.
maybe I don't bring it up cause I already know the answers,
and they are to sad to hear.
the only thing to be said is...

 never expect anything from anyone, they will only let you down.


find that fine line between an equal part of caring and love,
an for your own sake,
don't play in the puddles..they usually turn into pools.

twoday.

define for me responsibility..
I guess a context would be appropriate.. .
 to whom is responsibility. ?      who's may it actually be?
not so much of a social,
well hardly at all..that aspect of the situation holds no water..
nor an aggressive one.. but it feels this way,
feels powerful and strong.
its far from political...could border ethical. .
 personal and painful.
what is mine?. my responsibilities..
an to whom,
are mine?
the question is not whether I understand or not
but at what point does one take over the other? ..
when does yours for you and yours for others and to you and for you done by others...become more or less important.. ?
my motives,
not questioned..nor values misunderstood.

 maybe they just can't be compared.
an equal balance you will not find. but I ,
they friendly an true, to you.
are just as important.
the trick is to not let loose the rope
and stay out of the hole.

there are two types of long days...we each had one.

what's on your mind..?

'





'
You are the author.

tonight, we live as a king

ever wonder what they are thinking about you?
in a very elementary style of judgment.
there is no hate
nor dissatisfaction.
perhaps an equalizer.
are you living up to your own image?

there's many levels of making a difference.
you could be the salesmen,
pitching your lines and strong energy.
or the smooth one in the back overseeing
making sure everyone is safe.
the controller in charge,
calling the shots.
a face everyone recognizes,
and calls their friend.
possibly even the one who
started it all.
either way,
you carry it on.
your optimism spreads,
as a wildfire in the fall.
if you believe,
you are the one everyone will call.
tonight is yours,
your gonna have a ball.

i am the leader.

just a class assignment.

sometimes you have to think about death to understand what truly means the most to you.
your values and what you want to leave behind when your gone.
who means most to you and how much you adore and love them.
not all things are bad or negative in this life we are given.
death and change are the only certain things,
embrace them both and grow as an individual
so those around you can experience your greatness.

do your self a favor and don't make your bed before your about to sleep in it.
it just prolongs the sleep.
you might fall into a distant place
with no clue of how you got there.

poker...i don't ever know her.

ever slip an fall down a flight of stairs,
an happy with the way you fell?..

more then a single thought or moment.

Just wanted to say hello.
Figured this might be the best way to do so.
Gosh I hope you are well.
Thats all I ever wanted,
for that smile to run wild.
It looks so beautiful upon your face.

i miss when you press for answers to questions unasked but
i already know.
you slowly slightly get it out of me.
let me be me,
and comfortably so.
you play the part i am so used to tiredly being,
and we share.
it was so nice,
having you there.
maybe i'm not used to me being away.
you still make me laugh,
that will never go away.

a stem from a seed.

I feel good today. This world has great potential to be great. I am going to help this infulence. A substance all will want to have. Purpose and love,
makes me happy.

together, we had some amazing times

doors open and close, some even lock.
its what you do when you lose the keys that really matters.

change comes as the breeze flows,
always remain leaf like and on your toes,

do not be afraid of it.